I find so much time to just escape through my mac book, for better or for too much time spent. Between reading blog posts from other sites, watching documentaries on different important figures(high profiled and low profiled), listening to music, watching movies, reading different news articles from around the world, chatting with friends on fb, phone conversation, skype, gchat: just feeling feed and full.
sometimes i just escape it all, being embracing aloneness.
However, I have neglected my own thusfarinlife. If it makes my blog readers feel better I haven’t been writing either. Even in my own personal journal its dating back sometime last month. When someone is MIA, we hope they are doing well. And I am. Been sick here and there, went to the doctor the for the first time since I been here got some meds and I'm surrounded by med students, so I am being taken care of and looked after(don't worry fam). Sleeping more with all the rain during the day: I typically have class early in the morning and then sleep. I guess I'm trying to catch up on all the lost sleep because usually I don’t go to bed till really late at night, I guess sometimes my head is in central time…lol(6 hr behind me).
Sometimes I hook up my phone with the intentions to make a call only to realize this time I feel compelled to have a personal conversation with myself. Embrace the moments when I am alone. Not a sadness type of feeling more like grounded and peace in mind. I think critically, askying myself those tough questions I may not want to ask, reflect on where i've been and where I am going and where god is leading me. Smiling and laughing at the things I've done in my life that are funny. Thinking back, looking forward and learning to be more present. Through all the distance and time I have spent here in Coimbra, Portugal I have grown. My mind has been expanded, challenged, I have a better grasp on not only who I am but the woman I want to grow into(knowing there is room to change and make mistakes), and more importantly I have been more deeply rooted in faith.
I took this picture at the International Slavery Museum in Liverpool, England.
Moving to another country: knowing no one and not knowing what to expect can be a scary experience. You don't know who to trust, your worried about your language competency, your out of your comfort zone. No family, no friends, nothing is similar. This strangeness, this newness can only do one thing for you:force you to grow whether your ready or not. But this is not alone, during these vulnerable/unknown times you are with the Lord. Only person there, the only person you can trust, talk to, and carry you through all the times you may find difficult. And before you know it instead of God carrying you, you are walking side by side. There's nothing wrong with being carried, being helped, being vulnerable, being scared. Why should you, should I feel ashamed for feelings these emotions? There natural and the more we take them in, feel them, the more we learn about ourselves.
As I prepare to return home for winter break, I want to give love and feel loved. Period.
I appreciate my family and friends.
"We are who We are because Someone Loved Us."
-Cornal West
Such a powerful /lingering statement, makes you count all the people that love you and see you in them. As well as think about the people you loved, knowing you've shaped their life in some way. Leaving a lasting impact.
